The Story of My Frozen Heart
by Tsarchov
Summary: In the old part of the city, where the flashy Red Light district was – in the best house of pleasure, where we played this false games of promises, I was the best actor on that stage… That was until he walked in my life and changed everything…
1. Prologue

**Warnings:** yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino – Just this plot is mine, and there's this little fact that vampires didn't exist – so everyone is human…

**Authors Note**: it will be just a short 5-chapter story – I want to try writing something romantic with a happy ending…

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**- Prologue -**

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This one street – in the middle on the old part of this with technology packed, never sleeping city – is the same even after so many years that it had witnessed – the Red Light District.

In these busting days, it has become a place of illegal prostitution and drug dealings. The people look down on those working at those "houses pf pleasure", calling them whores. There's nothing magnificent or magic about it anymore.

But it wasn't always that way. There were times – long, long ago – when the "sinful houses" as they call them nowadays, held a high respected position in the eyes of people.

On that one street, with different types of those houses on both sides, was this one magnificent old mansion at the end of it. All about it was the highest quality; the patrons and the guests were the richest and powerful people from all kind of parts of the world. It was called the Palace of Dreams.

And there, amongst the highest quality courtesans, I was the best…

They called me the "Silver Rose" – was it because of my silver hair? Or maybe it was because of my different personalities. I could play the tender and loving lover, whisper sweet words and bring the greatest pleasure to any partner I was with.

But deep down, the reality was completely different. My heart was frozen, thorn apart to many pieces – and my personality when I wasn't with a patron or a customer was exactly the same. Cold like a steal – I was a stubborn brat.

I believed that it would be always like that – that the ice around my heart would never melt. Oh how wrong I was…

Everything began to change when he first entered the stage where we presented the false games of dreams coming true – and with that he also entered into my life, with the intention of staying in it…

…Kaname Kuran – that was his name…


	2. Our Fateful Encounter

**Warnings:** yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino – Just this plot is mine, and there's this little fact that vampires didn't exist – so everyone is human…

**Authors Note**: hope you will like it… the whole story is told from Zeros point of view…

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**- 1 – Our Fateful Encounter -**

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Because of a fire, in which my whole family died, I – at the age of five – became an orphan. With no family member to look after me, I came to an orphanage – as all the young kids in similar situations. And like for any other orphan, there were just two paths I could take from now on – I could either end up sold to an brother, or if I didn't catch the eye of the owners, I could have lived my life as any other normal child – have a childhood, grow up and than maybe find a sweet girl for me with which I could have started a family. But for me, the second one was never an opinion from the moment I met that guy – Yagari Touga.

It was a cold winter day the first time we met. I was in the orphanage just few weeks, but I was constantly getting into fights with those stupid kids, who always joked about how I looked – soft like the snow, with my pale skin and silver hair – I hated them for that. I was in one of those fights when he first approached me. Even now I can still remember the words he told me, because he was the first one to make me blush – this stranger with shining blue eyes. He said that I looked like a rose. A silver rose – delicate at first look, but strong after better knowing. He also said that I was born for other purpose than to play in the snow with kids. That I should let him change my life. That day, I took his hand and we left the orphanage – of course he paid a high price for me.

The first time I saw the Palace of Dreams at the end of the Red Light District from the window of the car, I was immediately captivated by it. It really shone thru all the small brothels like a palace, magnificent and beautiful – and Yagari Touga was the one who owned it.

When all was explained to me, I wasn't disgusted by the idea of selling my body in the future, but I really couldn't imagine it. He told me not to think about that too hard for now, and promised me he will definitely make me shine beautifully, like the rare diamond he thought I was.

Later that night, I was introduced to Kaien Cross, the elegant beautiful man who was supposed to teach me all about the etiquette. Because – as he always liked to tell us – courtesans in here are not like any other prostitutes. Our job is not to just simple sleep with the costumers, there are many arts that can be enjoyable and will lead to the simple but pleasant act.

I always enjoyed his lessons – I could always be myself around him, even if he tried really hard to change that stubborn personality of mine. Like all the new ones, we weren't allowed to sleep with the patrons yet – we were just too innocent at that time, like Yagari liked to tell. This was the one of the many things that distinguished the Palace of Dreams from the other brothels – because the patrons were not simple people like the customers in other brothers, but the richest people from all around the world – it had its standards to keep. I was glad for that – because I heard stories about the other brothers, where when you were sold to them, you were stripped from all the rights and used like plaything for old perverted man, and no one cared what became of you, even if they killed you. Yagari always gave a thoughtful background check to all the new patrons. He was the one who choose the courtesans for them – not the other way around – and for that he was famous – he could always tell what the patron wanted and choose adequately the one who could satisfy them the best.

The one thing that was taboo was a relationship between workers – be it the courtesans, or the ones taking care of them. But the more taboo one thing was, the more tempting it was. There were many who's caring and longing looks I have caught, as they thought no one was looking at them. The most shocking pair I have discovered was Yagari and Kaien. First, I thought the loving looks they were giving each other and those secret smiles weren't real, but after a half a year, I discovered they were lovers.

That time I have nearly accidentally walked in on them, when they were in each other arms in Yagari's study, kissing passionately – so much lost in their own little world, that they weren't aware of me peeping from the slightly opened door. They looked so good together, and I just couldn't take my eyes off of them – I felt like I was glued to the spot. My mind was too occupied from looking at their dancing bodies as they became one being, than to take into consideration the shouts deep inside me about inviting their privacy. That was the first time I got hard looking at two guys making love – I run away with my face flushed to the nearest bathroom to take care of my little problem. I never spoke of it, but in that moment I wished I too, would be able to taste that feeling of loving and be embraced by the one loving me back. And I also thought that it was an impossible dream for me – being in this kind of business.

At the age of twelve, when we were no longer considered as too young and innocent, my mizuage came. It was a day – night – of many firsts for me – and it started with me entering one of those beautiful Japanese styled rooms, dressed in this pale blue kimono with little black butterflies. I let my hair grow a little longer, but just to the shoulders as to not appear too girly, which was now combed up and held in place with this one silver buckle – I think with all that I looked too pale, but Yagari insisted, telling me that I remembered him now of that day in snow that we had met for the first time – and that way my violet eyes could stand out and shine more beautifully.

Mizuage is like a one night marriage – you exchange drinks with the soft music playing in the background, before your partner takes you for the first time – like a virgin bride. The one Yagari choose for me was a caring and gentle man, and what should have been the most painful experience, was because of his experienced touches and caresses made into an enjoyable one. That night, he taught my body to respond to the touches and kisses, to the pleasure he was giving it. I don't know what kind of person he was, because we never talked too much, just enjoyed ourselves.

He was the first one from whom I learned from, and my experience grow with other customers – everyone taught me new ways of pleasing your partner. After just one year, I became so popular and had my own few patrons whom I knew best – what made them happy, what made them aroused, what should I present myself to them as. Manners, tact, treatment of customers and of course the performance in bed – they all determine courtesans price.

Four years after my mizuage, at the age of sixteen, I was the best selling courtesan. I thought I was happy, because I enjoyed my life – I was proud of myself, of the position which I had right now and that time I didn't thought about the future. I knew that the life of a courtesan is a short one, that with the years and your body aging you can't do this for long – especially boys, as our bodies would loose the slight build, becoming more manlier. There were many who wanted to buy me out, but I couldn't bring myself to go with them. There was nothing I felt to them, there were no real emotions involved – it was all just a performance. Those looks and smiles I was giving them, the pleasure I was bringing them – never would I consider that I could have fallen in love. Never. Till he came.

That day started as any other normal day – getting up and spending the first hours with the apprentices. Every courtesan had one person who was exclusively theirs – one who was not meant to be an future courtesan. The one who was looking after me was this young red-haired man. His name was Kain, the surname I didn't know. Sometimes I had a feeling like he was a runaway rich brat, but I newer questioned why he choose to stay here. I didn't like him at first, but after two years, I somehow got used to him – even so much that I didn't even care to play something before him. I could be myself – my spoiled stubborn cold myself, as he used to say.

That day, he had prepared for me this beautiful red kimono with purple little lotus flowers – saying that Yagari wanted me to wear it. I let him help me get dressed, even if I was long ago aware of the way he sometimes used to stare at me – with lust filled eyes. There's no harm in letting him look, and he never tried anything else knowing very well the punishment we would both receive.

He followed me down to the magnificent hall, where the first patrons were already arriving, greeted by the young apprentices. There I spotted him, and when he saw me descent the stairs, he smiling sweetly hurried to greet me – Kaito Takamiya – with his messy hair and that playful look in his eyes, one could consider him to be still a child under that façade of a serious young man he liked to present himself as. He was close to my age, and I very much enjoyed his company – thru the two years we had spend together as courtesan and patron, I got to know a lot about him. He's the young master and heir to a big company in France, and it was his uncle who brought him here first, introducing us. I still remember the flushed cheeks he had then when he first saw me – I would have never thought that he would really sleep with me then. He liked when I acted spoiled around him, but he was really a great in bed – now I can say that I liked him to some point, maybe more than I should have. But it was newer love.

"Looking beautiful as ever," he took my hand and kissed it lightly, not breaking the eye contact. "Could I be your first in this beautiful full moon night?" I just smiled at him lightly, but before I had the chance to say anything, Yagari was standing by us.

"I'm really sorry, but Zero's not free tonight," not free? So there was a specific reason for that red kimono. I glared at him – I never liked when he did something like that – not telling me what awaited me.

"Oh," the disappointment on Kaito's face was really visible and he looked really cute acting like his favorite toy was taken away from him.

"Zero," Yagari turned to me, "There's an important guest coming today, and I want you to keep him company for as long as he will want to," that look of his meant that it's someone new – and I could see the trust he is having in my abilities. I don't like new patrons, as by the first time we are together I don't know their preferences. It's not like I don't have fait in my abilities, it's just… there could be any kind of trouble – but I trust Yagari that he knows what he's doing. I gave him a smile as the sign of acceptance – well, I don't have much of a choice in that matter. What he tells, that goes.

"Oh, there he is," and with that he was away before I could even blink. Turning around, I followed with my eyes the way he took, until they fell on one person standing close by the entrance. That must be him, I thought. And really, Yagari greeted him just few moments after. He was as tall as Yagari, his brown hair falling to his shoulders – his body was in good form, that much could I tell from the first glance I gave his body. As he turned around… Kami. I felt myself be pulled into those beautiful chocolate eyes of his that were now looking back at me – at that moment I felt like nothing existed except the two of us…

**TBC…**

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_-_**The next chapter**_: - The Night When He Began to Change Something in Me - _

…_Good? Bad? Liked it? Tell me… _

…_I don't like long chapters filled with too detailed descriptions – sometimes it_'_s just too boring to read even if the story is great – so all the remaining four chapters will be short, and to the point…_


	3. Hold Me Tight

**Warnings:** yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino – Just this plot is mine, and there's this little fact that vampires don't exist – so everyone is human…

**Authors Note**: originally I wanted to name this chapter – The Night When he Began to Change Something in Me – but it's just so loge. So I renamed it…

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**- 2 – Hold Me Tight - **

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I can't remember that I was so fascinated by a man in my whole life. From the first time I laid my eyes on him, I was captivated by his aura shining over all others. And those deep eyes when he looked at me – I felt something pulling me closer to him. I never felt such need before – I wanted this man to hold me… and never let me go.

"Is he the one," I looked at Kaito, "who will take you away from me for the whole night?" he's acting like a little kid – like his favorite toy is about to be taken away from him.

"Its not like I have a saying in it," I smile at him politely, not wanting his mood to worsen – he can be such a kid sometimes – even if he's older than me – sulking about the most trivial things. And I don't want him to leave and never come back – but I don't think he would really do that. Once he sulked nearly for half a year, but even so he came back. And the reason I want him to stay is simple – I enjoy being with him. And above all, our bodies are compatible.

"Do you perhaps know him?" I have the feeling that he does, from the way he's glaring at him – well, it could also be just my imagination.

"Kaname Kuran," so that's his name. "He's the young master and heir to the Kuran Corporation. They are the biggest trading company in America," so in short – another snobbish young master who thinks that everything will go the way he wants it. Great. Just great.

"I'm leaving," just so little can make him pissed.

"I promise you the next time you come, I would be exclusively yours," I lean closer to his ear, "and you can do anything you want with me," I whisper seductively, knowing well he won't – he can't – refuse. That he will be satisfied for now.

"I look forward to it," kissing my hand lightly like when he came, I can tell the smile on his face is real, and that he's leaving in a good mood.

"You really shouldn't make promises you don't know if you can keep," I nearly forgot that Kain was the whole time standing there, now looking at me – he learned too fast to tell me if he thought my actions were wrong.

"Just shut up, will you?" I like to be my normal self around him, even if my words are sometimes harsh, I know he knows that I mean it playfully, that I care about him enough to relax around him.

"I will go check the room," he sighs, a small smile on his lips lasting just a few seconds before it vanished.

"So this is the diamond you wanted to show me, Yagari?" turning around, I instantly found myself looking in those eyes that hypnotize me from affair. I can't bring myself to speak, I don't even want to breath as not to break this precious moment.

"Very beautiful, indeed," taking my hand, he kisses it lightly, not breaking the eye contact and I'm melting as he smiles at me. Snap out of it Zero, you're a professional.

"I welcome you Mr. Kuran," my professional smile on my face the moment those words leaved me. "It's a pleasure to be yours for this night," and I mean it – after a long time I really mean those words. My heart skips a beat as he again smiles at me… hold it right there Zero, and calm down. Why is it affecting me in this way? There shouldn't be any emotions involved.

"Should we go than?" I point the way up the stairs, bowing my head slightly to Yagari before walking after my partner for tonight. As we're walking side-by-side in the upper level where the rooms are located, I can see the envious looks from the other courtesans we meet on our way – of course they would be jealous. It's not everyday you got to see such an elegant and handsome young man. This is making me feel great.

We don't talk, and as we take the right turn I see Kain already waiting for us. As we are near him, he opens the slide-door to the prepared room, and I invite Kaname with the motion of my hand to enter – entering politely after him.

"Do you know when will you be done?" Kain asks me with those unemotional eyes he's always looking at me with when I'm with a customer.

"I hope that in the morning," I smile a mischievous smile at him and slide the door shut the rest of the way – I just can't bring myself not to tease him sometimes. Turning around, I see Kaname looking back at me – the smile and confident look he had till now vanished, and he sees kind of nervous – did something happen?

"Do you like the room?" I try to start a light conversation, to make him relax.

"Yes. Its very beautiful," but of course it is. This is one of the best rooms we have – my favorite one I muss say – full in Japanese style, with the light and decorations giving it this nice touch. There's another small room attached, with big futon laid out. There's also a small table where he's standing, with sake – that will be a good way to make him more comfortable.

"How about some sake?" I can see in his eyes that he wants to refuse, but he just smiles politely taking the offer. I sit down beside him, pouring him some.

"How do you want me to act, Mr. Kuran?" this is why I don't like taking new patrons – as by our first meeting, I don't know their tastes – I don't know how they want me to act – what they want me to be.

"Just Kaname. Please," he ads when he sees the doubtful look on my face. "And just be yourself," to be myself – that's easier said than done.

"Well, I don't really think that that's a good idea," I say trustfully. Putting down the slim white bottle, I pull myself closer to him – well, it's time for some action.

"How do you like it – do you like to be the dominant one, or should I take the initiative?" it feels so good to be so close to him, our bodies touching. My hand feels like its on fire as it slowly travels down his chest. I lean closer to his ear, "Kaname," I whisper his name with as much longing in my voice as I'm able to – sweetly and quietly, licking him earlobe. I can feel his heart beating faster thru my fingertips thru the thin fabric of his button-up shirt.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…" his hands on my shoulders are pushing me away – I'm speechless. I can't – I don't want – to hide my shocked expression. What the fuck happened? Did I do something wrong?

"Am I not to your liking?" that's the only explanation my mind is able to come up with – but that can't be true because… "Because earlier, you said that I was beautiful."

"Yes, you certainly are very beautiful… breathtakingly beautiful," as he looks at me and smiles, I can tell that there is more he wants to say.

"Than where's the problem?" I don't understand. I was NEVER turned down.

"I don't look at man in that way…" what the fuck is he saying? I'm starting to boil inside with anger, but I try to control it as I speak again.

"So than why are you here?"

"It's because of my uncle," he sighs, looking away from me. "He always urged me to come here, because of my status and also telling me that it will be a good experience for me – I couldn't longer refuse him," is he an idiot?

"So…" I have him looking back at me, "what do you want to do now?"

"Talk?" he says shyly – and it's kind of cute. Talk – picking up the white sake bottle – if he wants to talk instead of fuck, I can play along with that. But it's really a shame – I so much wanted his body to embrace me.

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"Hey Kain," I sneak behind him as he's preparing my clothes for the day, hugging him from behind. "Let's fuck," I whisper to his ear.

"Are you insane?" he states calmly, not even looking back at me.

"Of course not," letting him go I let myself fall back on the bed, my face burying into the big pillow.

"What may be the problem?" I feel one side of the bed sink a little under his weight, as he sits down.

"You know what the problem is," I say into the pillow. "Four days. FOUR FUCKING DAYS," I sit up abruptly, looking back at Kain – my anger definitely showing. "The first time he told me he wants to just talk I thought – Oh well, little change wouldn't harm me. I thought that if he said to me that he wasn't interested in man in a sexual way, that that will be it – that I won't see him ever again! The next night I was surprised at first to see him again, but I thought he changed his mind and would finally do something.

BUT NO.

It was again just talking. And the night after that and also the next night. All four nights he kept me by his side, just talking till morning."

"I thought you enjoyed talking to him," I looked deep into Kain's eyes, holding the eye contact for a bit, than letting my back hit the bed.

"I'm not saying that I'm not enjoying it – quite the opposite," yes, that's true. It's surprisingly fun talking to him, and I really like it. But…

"What I'm saying is, that he kept me to himself all this time, without so much as a light touch. And I," sitting up again, "want to fuck."

"And why are you telling this to me? Tell that to him."

"Because…" why indeed? Because I know that he's not interested in holding me? Because by telling him I would first need to throw away my pride, as it would mean begging for something? I never begged for anything. Or is it because by telling him I fear that he will be disgusted by the idea to the point of running away and never returning? Bullshit.

"Where are you going?" I hear Kain calling after me, but I don't pay it attention, as I'm already by the door, pulling it to me – why is it so nosy?

It's true that every day – few hours before opening – there are a lot of people running everywhere, looking over every detail that needs to be perfect – but this, this is too hectic. Did something unexpected happen?

"What is going on?" I question the nearest person, a young girl holding a vase.

"There will be a mizuage tonight."

"Whose?" I can't think of anyone right now.

"Well, yours…" I don't pay her attention any longer, as I make my way down to Yagari's office. I don't bother with knocking, just letting myself in – shutting the door behind me and walking to his table where he sits quietly, not once looking up from his work to see who had disturbed him.

"What's this nonsense about a mizuage?"

"It's not a nonsense…"

"But I already had one. It's not like I'm pure anymore," I interrupted him.

"Of course I know that. But as there are special circumstances, I agreed to it."

"What special circumstances?"

"It was a request…"

"From whom and how is it that I didn't heard about it sooner?" I interrupted him again, now really curious about all of this – well, you can say that Yagari is not the kind of person to willingly go thru so much trouble and preparations just because someone had requested it. It muss be someone special – now I'm really interested to find out who.

"Will you let me finish, or what?"

"Okay, okay. Go on," he leans back in his chair – I sat down in one too.

"I hadn't time to inform you any sooner, as the request came just few hours ago, and there were many things that needed to be taken care of first. About your second question, the one who requested the mizuage was Mr. Kuran," I can't believe it. I muss have heard wrong. Why would he… he didn't so much as touched me till now… and why did he choose such a way? If he wants to sleep with me, as a paying customer he had all the right to – and I'm more than wiling to let him hold me – I even want him to take me so badly.

"Why did he?" I whisper.

"That, my dear, you have to ask him yourself," so now, few hours later, I'm sitting in this beautiful room – the same as the last four nights – side by side with this elegant and mysterious man, whose thoughts are so unpredictable – he clothed in black, me in silver-white kimono with small pink sakura flowers – Yagari told me that Kaname send it for me, hoping that I would wear it tonight. The ceremony is beautiful, much much more than my first one, but hell I'm nervous – all kind of thoughts are going thru my mind right now…

"You haven't touched me these four nights, so why now?" I ask quietly as I hear him closing the slide-door of this small room. The ceremony is over, and now on this red futon, I will give myself to him – I wonder why red. Did he also choose it? I'm quietly sitting on it, my back to the door as I wait for him to move closer – to speak up his mind, as I'm curious. And so nervous.

"I wanted to hold you," what is he talking about? I really hadn't that kind of impression from his actions. "I know what I have told you the first night, but after we talked, I…" I hear him moving closer, "…I felt this sudden urge to hold you."

"So why didn't you?"

"I thought I was unworthy," his hands are finally around me, as he's embracing me from behind, holding me close in his strong embrace, his face buried in the nape of my neck. "You looked so delicate that I thought that you would break if I were to touch you." I feel his breath on my neck, and it sends pleasant shivers thru my entire body – closing my eyes, I let myself drown in that feeling. "This way, when you are bound to me alone for the whole night, I feel like I'm worth of touching you."

"You fool," I whisper thru my clenched teeth, turning in his embrace and kissing those awaiting lips hungrily – my hands in his chocolate hair, pulling him closer into the kiss. He's gently pushing me down on the futon, and I'm more than happy to let him take the lead.

"Wait for a bit," I break the passionate kiss, pushing him off of me to give some little space between us – his words from the other night resonating in my memory. "Are you sure that you can sleep with a man?"

"You want to know if I can get it up for you?" well, I didn't want to say it out so bluntly, but I guess he got the point. He than took my hand – I didn't protest, fully trusting him – Kami.

"I think that there's no problem," I blushed deeply – I can feel my cheeks burning – and I'm speechless by his actions, my hand still kept firmly in place over his arousal with his hand – he's huge – I can feel so much thru the fabric that is hindering me to feel his flash.

"Guess there's not," I answer him when I found my voice again – my eyes travel to his lips that I want to kiss again, than lover to his opened front and I was right – he does have a nice body. Not too much muscles, but I say it's enough to make him manly and irresistible.

"Let me touch you," he let go of my hand, and I – even if unwillingly – pull it away from his hardening member – I would have so much more time later to feel him to my fullest. Opening my legs, I let him lay his lover body down between them, his arousal touching my own hardening member and a moan escapes me – he definitely did that on purpose. And when I see that mischievous smile on his face, I know I was right.

"You're so beautiful," his hand caressing my right cheek – it feels so good to hear those words from him – I lean into the touch, moaning out his name. His hands and lips traveling thru my whole body that is shivering under his every little touch, wanting more attention from him. His two wet fingers enter me as his hot mouth is playing with my right nipple – I bite down on my lover lip as not to moan out from the so wanted feeling of his fingers stretching me out. He purposely avoids my arousal that is screaming for attention, his third finger entering me – that teaser. I can play this game too – but right now, I want him more than that.

"I want to ride you," I don't give him the time to say anything – and I don't think he is in the state to say anything as his surprised expression is telling me. Well, he was the one who told me that I should act like myself around him – I'm really a selfish kind of guy sometimes, and I like to get what I want – and right now, I want to be the dominant one, dictating the way things should go.

Letting him sit down, I kiss him as my hand travels down his chest till it found his arousal – freeing it from his underwear, I play with the tip first, earning a moan from him into the kiss – sweet. Pushing him down, I first undo the already loosened obi to fully open up his yukata, enjoying the view to my fullest before I kiss the tip of his arousal. Letting my tongue slide up and down, I know exactly what feels good for my partner and his moan as I take him fully into my mouth is proving it.

"Wait, enough," he pulls at my hair slightly, telling me by it to stop. "I can't take much more. I want you now," I love when they beg for it – and to have such a beautiful creature begging to me, I can't let him wait much longer.

I take off my own yukata as I'm positioning myself above his hard member dripping with pre-cum – I see the hunger in his eyes as he's taking in every curve of my body. Firmly holding his member, I sit down slowly, taking in deep breath as I feel him by my entrance – closing my eyes as to fully feel this feeling I longed for for the last four days when his tip enters me. Feeling his hands on my hips, he's pushing me down like he can't wait to be fully buried deep inside me.

My hands resting on his chest for support, I let my muscles relax around him, my body screaming from happiness at the pleasant shivers all over it – my arousal twitching for attention. I love this feeling – being so full of him, having something that is binding us together. Looking down on him, I smile from the happiness – I don't care about my rule of not psychically getting involved. I can't help how I fell about him.

"Let me take over."

"What? No… Kaname… wait…" he ignores my protests as he's sitting up and pushing me down instead – I feel him moving in me slightly as we change positions, and it's stimulating and pleasant feeling. Looking up at him, as his face is getting closer, I hungrily kiss those lips. Oh well, I let him do as he wants – looks like I like him to be gentle with me, like a real lover would.

Wrapping my legs around him as he starts to move, our kiss growing into more passionate one – our tongues dancing to satisfy the hunger for each other. I moan into the kiss, as he fully buries himself in me, hitting my prostate – he smiles in the kiss, hitting my spot with every thrusting now that he had found it.

"I want to hear you moan out in that sweet voice of yours," my lips feel lonely when his leaves them. Pushing my legs closer to my chest for better access, his tempo is increasing and I want to touch myself as I feel my climax coming closer.

"Kaname, I'm close," I let out between moans. "Wait, no," his fingers tightening around my arousal, hindering me in fulfilling my body's desire.

"Hold out just a little longer – let us come together," kissing my lips lightly, he than moves down to kiss my neck. I don't think I can take it any longer – my hand trying to pull his hand away. With one more thrust, he buries himself deep inside me – releasing my own painful member and coming together as he had said – I cry out his name as the blissful feeling of fullness takes over me, my body shivering under his touch.

He lies down on me, still buried in me – I hold him close, not wanting to let go. Our eyes meet, and I see his gentle eyes longing for more – and I too, want this man with all of my being.

"Can I be selfish and want to do it one more time?" he doesn't even need to say anything, as his sparkling eyes and that unbelievably sweet smile of his tell me everything I need to know. As he leans down and kisses me again, only one thought is on my mind – I love this man.

**TBC…**

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_-_**The next chapter**_: - Raping My Soul - _

…_I had some matters to take care of, so I wasn't able to update anything. But now I'm back and there will be a lot releases this following week (well, I hope I can kick myself to it)… so look forward to it…_

…_originally, there should have been three more chapters, but there would be just two – as I'm fusing the 4__th__ chapter "The Proposal" and the 5__th__ chapter "The Betrayal" into one chapter… _


	4. Raping My Soul

**Warnings:** yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino

**Authors Note**: I apologize for the mistakes and spellings – feel free to correct me…

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**- 3 – Raping My Soul -**

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"What are you still doing in bed?" I look out from under the covers at Kaien – I know that it's nearly time when the brothel will open its doors, but I just don't feel like myself today. And it all is his fault – Kaname Kuran. After that dreamful night, two weeks have gone by without him showing up – was I just a plaything for him? But I got the feeling that there was something more between us.

"Just leave me alone for today."

"Are you not feeling well?" if I tell him that I'm not, he will believe me. I'm sorry, Kaien.

"That's right."

"Don't let yourself be deceived – he's just faking it," Kain – I will so kill him. "Don't glare at me, you can't fool me."

"Okay, I got it," I get up from the bed, "so, what do you want?" the question is meant for Kaien, as it's unusual for him to be in my room at this time – Kain's the only one who is allowed to be here at this time, to help me get ready.

"I came here to tell you, that Kaito Takamiya is here," he also hadn't shown up till now since he left than night that Kaname came here the first time. I think that I can't refuse to go and see him, after what I have told him then.

"He wants to talk to you – now," what's this? He wants to talk? I'm curious.

"Can you take me to him?" I take the silken robe from Kain, putting it on onto my casual clothes as I walk out from my room after Kaien. He's taking me to Yagari's office? He should have told me, I know the way – it's not like I will run away. As I step inside, the two occupants of the room look our way – Kaito walking to me with a sad smile on his face, hugging me tightly.

"I missed you so much," I hug him back, accepting the light kiss on my right cheek. When he looks at me again, the smile is more sincere.

"Come on Yagari, let give them a little time alone," Kaien pulls Yagari out, closing the door and leaving the two of us alone. I let Kaito pull me towards the big couch, sitting down first.

"I'm sorry for my appearance, but you wanted to see me right away, so…"

"To me, it doesn't matter what you wear," he interrupts my apology, crouching down before me and kissing my hands lightly – his eyes that are locked with mine are shining with happiness now.

"So, what is it that you wanted to tell me?" he lets go of my hands, sitting beside me on the crouch and looking nervously at his fingers on his lap. Why is he so nervous? What is it he wants to tell me?

"I've done a lot of thinking while I didn't saw you," he's starting to scare me, looking all serious like that – I don't know this side of him. "I want you to be always with me – I want to buy you out."

"What?" I'm speechless – and shocked. This opinion newer even crossed my mind. I… I don't know what should I do – how should I respond. Three weeks ago, I think that I would have accepted his offer, but now… now that I had known what love is, now that I love someone for the first time this badly, I don't think that I can give Kaito the answer he wants to hear.

"I get jealous every time that I think that someone else's hands are on you, that someone else besides me is holding you, kissing you," he looks up, our eyes meeting. "I love you, Zero."

"I… Kaito, I…" newer in my life have I heard sincere words than these – it's painful knowing that I can't return his feelings. What should I do?

"I already talked to Yagari about it," a sad smile is now on his face – he was hoping for other reaction from me, "He says that the decision is yours to make."

"What about your family?" that's right. He's the heir, he has to think about his position and social standing. Buying a courtesan out of a brother, it could damage his reputation – not to mention what will his family think about it. "Won't they…"

"I already talked to them, and they gave me their permission – saying something like that if I were to have a male for a lover, they don't have to worry about illegitimate children. Of course I had to promise them that I would marry a girl they will goose for me in the future. But Zero, you will always be the only one I will ever love. So please, promise me that you will think about it."

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I'm so happy. I can't believe that this day finally came. Yesterday, after we closed, Yagari told me that Mr. Kuran will come today. I know that Kaito is still waiting for my answer, and I have thought about an answer these two days, but now that Kaname is back – I'll see what will happen today. It's not like I can tell him that I have fallen for him so hard that I want to be with him. I decided to wear the same red kimono I had on the first time we met.

"Is he that good?"

"What do you mean?" I look at Kain, he seems kind of frustrated.

"Your mood changed to better as soon as you heard that he's coming," so what? Do I not deserve to be happy? How do they say it – love makes you blind? I feel exactly like that. I don't care about anything else because I finally can see him – and I hope for even more.

"Oh yes, he's already here – in the Cherry room," what is he saying? But why is he here so soon? The brothel hasn't even opened yet – I hope he isn't here to just talk to me like Kaito was. But on the other hand, if he wants to tell me exactly what Kaito had, than I… No. That can't be it, because the time we spend together was so short.

"You're telling me this just now? Move!" I run to the cherry room as fast as the kimono is allowing me, too excited to care what others are thinking by seeing me like this. There it is – I can see the slide-door. Just a few more seconds before I can see him again – I hope he will greet me with that sweet smile of his I have fallen in with.

"Kaname," I breathe out his name as I enter the room, stopping as I see just an empty room before me. What is this? Where is he? Looking to my left to the small attached room, I see thru the opened slide-door that it's also empty. With the corner of my eye, I see movement behind me.

"Hello there, sweetheart," I turn around slowly as the unfamiliar voice reaches me, a tall man standing there before the now closed door. Who's he? Did I get the wrong room?

"My name is Rido Kuran. Im Kaname's uncle. And as you can see, he's not here," Kaname's uncle? So that's why he looks like him – but just a little. And his eyes – one blue and the other red – there is something frightening in them. Why is he here? Was it him who wanted to meet me and not Kaname? Well, Yagari said that it was a Mr. Kuran, and it was me who automatically assumed that it would be Kaname?

"You really are beautiful – a real silver rose," he walks closer to me, touching my silver hair – I'm still shocked about my naiveté.

"What business do you have with me?" I finally found my voice.

"Is that how you speak to a paying customer, whore?" whore? I shake away his hand – how dare this arrogant bastard call me a whore! I don't intend to let him further insult me.

"You have no right to call me…"

"Oh please. Wake up already. What else do you call a person who lets himself be held by different customers every night? Ah, that angry look is so… exiting," this… this – how can he be Kanames uncle? He's nothing like him. "Let us have some fun, sweetheart," before I have the time to react, he grabs me by my hand, pulling me with him to the smaller room and throwing me onto the futon.

"What the hell do you think you're…" the words stuck in my throat as I look up at him, seeing the demonic expression on his face – it sends shivers down my whole body – and they are not because of excitement. There's something in this man that is scarring me, making me unable to move.

"I heard that you're the best," as he's nears me, he undid few buttons of his shirt, "I hope that you will prove it to me."

"Like hell will that happen!" I try to stand up, but he moves fast and I find myself lying on my stomach, my hand twisted behind my back – I can't help but scream out from the pain.

"I like your voice. It's so exciting," he whisper into my ear, "sing for me more, sweetheart." His other hand goes under my kimono, sliding across my leg, not stopping until it founds my rear, grabbing at it. "Nice."

"What?" I gasp out as he lets go of my hand, rolling up the fabric of my kimono and I hear a zipping sound – Kami. He's not going to… I try to lift myself, but his hand on my back holds me down and I feel his aroused member touching my rear as he leans at me… he's really going to.

"Don't," I gasp out, the breath stuck in me as I feel him at my entrance. I try to relax, as he pushes into me, to make it less painful – but I can't hold back the cry when the pain strikes me.

"More. Sing for me more," I feel wet tears sliding down my cheeks, and I bite into my hand as not to scream more as he starts to move – I won't give him the pleasure to hear me cry. "You're so tight," of course you bastard – you haven't prepared me. Kami, it hurts – I think that he had torn me up. I feel so… filthy. Every time he enters me, I want to scream out – why did Yagari let this bastard do this to me? I… I thought that…

"Kaname," I let his name out between painful gasps – I haven't even realized it.

"It's not good manners to call out other mans name when I'm the one entering you," he leans at me, entering me much deeper than before – I bite my lips this time not to cry out again. "I tell you something. It will be better for you if you would forget about him – because he's getting married." What?

"Oh, you don't believe me?" he must have gotten a glimpse of my face, the surprise visible. "What did you thought? That after that one night he spend with you, that you will became someone special to him? He already had a fiancé at that time – you were just an entertainment for him," it hurts. His words hurt much more than his thrusts. "I told you – you are just a whore. Nothing more."

I… I… he's right. He's so right – and because he's right, his words hurt me even more. What was I thinking? That there is some better life for me? That as a courtesan, I have a future filled with love? I was happy with the way things were before he came – before I got to know this feeling. So why… why have I destroyed it all by doing such a foolish thing? I don't think that it can go beck to how it was before.

I'm too much absorbed in my thoughts as to pay attention to the two pairs of legs that are coming closer – to the voices filling this small room – to him leaving my body – to those two protective arms that are pulling me into a safe embrace, stroking my hair in attempt to calm me down.

"Kain, please show Mr. Kuran politely the way out," the voice by my head says calmly to the other person that came with him. He lets me cry out the pain, not saying anything but being there for me, waiting for me to calm down.

"I think that it would be best for you to accept Kaito's proposal," that calming voice of Kaien Cross says to me – and those words resonate in my mind like atonement for my broken heart.

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_-_**The next chapter**_: - Our Future – _

…_The next chapter will be the last one – what will be Zeros decision? How will his story end?_


	5. Our Future

**Warnings:** yaoi m/m relationship – don't like, don't read

**Disclaimer:** Vampire Knight and its characters belong to Matsuri Hino

**Authors Note**: uf… finally finished. As you already know, this is the last chapter, so enjoy it…

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**- 4 – Our Future -**

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After that night when Kaname's uncle had raped me, I had a big fight with Yagari – or better to say, I was letting my anger out on him, while he just stood there, quietly, letting me shout at him freely. He never gave me an answer to any of my questions. Kaien was right – I could no longer stay there. Not in the state I was in – a courtesan falling in love. What a joke. There would never come something out of it. But where should I go? To Kaito? But would he still want me in my broken state? But the destiny had already prepared the answer for that, and also the new road for me.

The war broke out. And even we, who were till now kept in the dark about the whole situation, weren't unaffected. We newer talked with our patrons about politick, because our only purpose was to pleasure them, there wasn't a way for us to find out – as we never stepped out. Yagari didn't wanted us to mix with the outside world, because our current life was everything we needed.

The following four years were hard, but I survived – and it gave me the reason to leave there. To leave my life behind, starting anew. I never returned – and I don't plan to ever set foot there. Sometimes I wonder how everyone is doing – especially Kain and Kaien, as they were the ones that took such good care of me. I heard that after the war ended, Yagari reopened the Palace of Dreams, but even if he were to find me, I couldn't go back – it can't return to the way it was. Those are the times long lost. Many things have changed thru these four years – also the way people look at courtesans. But I'm glad that I could be a part of that glorious time.

After the war ended, I used one whole year to save up, doing everything I could. But I newer sold my body – that's one thing I couldn't do. After I had enough money saved up and everything ready, I left the country, because I wanted to see you again so much. I stand up from the ground where I have been kneeling till now, sadly smiling at the stone before me – looking at those elegant two words engraved in the monumental stone.

_**Kaito Takamiya**_

I'm sorry that it took me so long to get here. When I visited your home, it was your mother that told me about this place, where you are sleeping. She looked like a strong woman, but I didn't wanted to reopen her wounds by asking about the details of your death. I didn't want to make her remember those sad moments when she lost you. I'm also sorry, because even if I feel this big pain in me from loosing you, I can't shed even one tear – I have cried them all that night, five years ago.

So, my dearest patron, friend, lover… this is a goodbye. I loved you – in my own way. But it looks like we weren't meant for one another. I'm left with just the hope, that wherever you are, you have found happiness. You don't have to wish it to me, because there is none for me. That much I know.

With one last look at the family tomb, I leave this still place. The weather is beautiful today, but I take a taxi, as the hotel I'm staying in is rather far away. What should I do now? I… this hasn't even crossed my mind. The only other outcome I thought about was that he wouldn't want me. I'm 21 already, and I'm far away from what I was five years ago. I have matured – my body is more manlier, with my skin bearing the scars of war.

I pay the driver when we stop before my hotel. Not paying attention to anything around me, I enter the reception hall, taking the stairs to the fourth floor where my room is. There's no need for hurrying, and it gives me more time for thinking – what to do next? Maybe I can find a job here, renting a small apartment – that way I could be closer to him. And the city is beautiful, not marked from the war as many others. I take out the keys, while I'm thinking, opening the doors. Before I can step inside, two strong hands embrace me from behind – one sweet voice by my ear.

"I have finally found you."

That voice. I… I… how? There's no way that I couldn't recognize it, even if I haven't heard it all this time. But why is he here? Just one name leaves my trembling lips.

"Kaname Kuran."

Turning around slowly – the strong embrace loosening as to let me do it – I'm greeted by his smiling face. He hasn't changed too much – the same chocolate hair, now shorter than it was then – the same handsome face, matured from the past few years – the same look in his eyes as that one night. His eyes are filed with relief and love? Tenderness? What the… love? My ass.

"What the fuck are you doing here!" my anger is boiling in me – seeing him just made me remember what his uncle had done to me – and said to me. He should be married by now, so what is he doing here before me, with that look in his eyes?

"I finally got to see you and this is how you greet me?" what's with that hurt look? Did he except me to jump into his waiting arms the moment I saw him?

"Zero, I…"

"Don't touch me!" I slap his reaching hand towards me away, registering the few people who came out of their rooms to look what's going on. Great. We attract too much unwanted attention.

"Just… just go away and leave me alone," I say it loud enough just for him to hear it, before I turn around, entering the room and closing the door – or that's what I want to do, but his hand and foot are hindering me in closing this damn door.

"I want to talk to you. Please. Just… to talk. So will you let me in, or are we going to talk like this?" this bastard. If we attract mote attention, than I could end up getting my but kicked out of here – and I would like to stay here a little longer. Guess I don't have a choice.

"Fine," I say before I let go of the door, moving to the window in the back of this small one room apartment. There's not too much space to run to. I hear the door closing, but I choose to look out of the window instead at him. If I were to look at him too much, I fear that those feelings of love that I have pushed deep within myself and replaced with pure anger may resurface.

"Look at me, Zero," his voice is full of confidence – it's like an command that I refuse to fulfill, but at the same time I can't go against it. Taking a deep breath, I turn around slowly – he hasn't taken one step away from the door.

"You wanted to talk. So? What's there to talk about?" I cross my hands on my chest – I can't let him shake me. The anger is the only thing I feel for him.

"I want to talk about us." Us? There was never and "us" – he smashed that foolish dream of mine – better to say, his uncle did.

"You should return to your wife," and never appear before me again.

"My wife? I'm not married," yeah, right. I divert my eyes, rather looking on the floor. "I was engaged, that's true. But I broke it of," how did he moved so quietly that he's now right before me? "Since the first moment I saw you, I was captivated by you," taking my face into his arms while I'm unable of any kind of respond from his words, he kisses me lightly. "I can't get you out of my head. And now, that I have finally found you," another light kiss, "I don't intend to ever let you go." This time that our lips met, it wasn't just a light touch – he deepened the kiss, and I found myself unable to resist. As his tongue slipped inside my mouth, I feel my determination to resist him slowly breaking to pieces – my hands on his chest that were pushing him away are now pulling him closer. But… but I shouldn't. I'm still mad at him, right?

"Haha," he breaks the kiss, putting his forehead on mine, and I see his eyes sweetly smiling. "I missed this feeling so much. Just a simple kiss from you, and I'm hard," I widen my eyes as he pulls my hand down, placing it at his arousal, making me feel it thru his pants – just like by our first time. I think that I'm blushing.

"So please, Zero. Don't push me away. I know you long for me too," he whispers in my ear before he bites lightly on the earlobe, sending pleasant shivers down my whole body, and I can't do anything about the moan that escapes thru my parted lips.

"I want to hear more sweet moans… but right now, I long for those lips of yours," his finger traces the line of my lover lip, before he places his lips on mine, hungrily deepening the kiss – and I found myself responding, even closing my eyes as to better feel this sensation I have nearly forgotten.

I didn't even notice that he had moved us to the bed by my left, until I found myself lying on it, our mouths still glued together – his hungry hand under my top, caressing my skin, slowly studying my burn mark on my left side, and finding every small and big cuts. Then his mouth joins his hand, kissing my every scar – it's unbelievably stimulating for me.

"Kaname," I moan out his name as he finally pulls down my pants, releasing my painful hard-on that was screaming for a while for attention. He's touching it lightly with his fingers, his mouth now occupied with my nipple, and I feel something wet entering me.

"What the?" I open my eyes at the nearly forgotten sensation of fingers moving in me, looking at him as he looks back at me. "What are you using?"

"This," he smiles mischievously, showing me a small bottle of hand cream – when did he had a time to get that? His lips seal any kind of question that I want to ask, another finger joining the two already in me. Kami. How I missed this sensation – my body quickly getting used to it.

"Can I?" he asks kind of shyly into the kiss, and my smile is all he needs as an approval. Pulling his fingers out, I look at him as he's undoing his pants, his arousal standing proud and ready the moment he frees it. As he puts a small amount of the cream on his hard, big member, I bite my lips unconsciously in anticipation of what comes next.

Pushing my legs further apart, he positioned himself before my entry, looking at me once more for approval before he pushes slowly in – I didn't know that I longed so much for this feeling. I swallow him whole, and than he stops, his hand caressing my cheek.

"Zero, open your eyes, my love," I look at the face of the man I longed for for so long, and in this moment nothing matters to me – there's nothing but us.

"Kaname," I pull him into a kiss, and when he starts to move I pull him even closer to me, yearning for more body contact. His kisses, his touches and his moving in me are driving me so close to the edge.

"Kaname, I… I'm… close."

"Me too," his breath that is tickling me on the neck is the last push, and I'm coming on my stomach with a loud moan, Kaname joining me after few more thrusts. I'm so full, and I just love it. His loving look in his eyes is the one last thing that I need for the ice around my heart to finally melt away.

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I like to look out at the night sky. It's calming me down. In the old days, I have imagined what it would be like to be free like the stars. And now, that I'm finally free from that life, I guess it just became a habit of mine.

"What are you thinking about?" I don't need to turn around to know by his nearing voice that he too, left the warmth of the bed to move up to me by the window.

"Don't ever think about running away from me," he embraces me from behind, kissing my shoulder, "because there's no way that I'm letting you leave my embrace."

"Don't worry, I won't," turning around, I place a kiss on his waiting lips. It feels so good to be like this, knowing that I don't have to surpass these feeling anymore – and that they are returned.

"I love you so fucking much, Kaname Kuran," I can finally say it to him – it feels great.

"Me too. I love you, my silver rose."

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_-I'm sorry that the lemon was so… short and not too much detailed too, but I wasn't in the mood for a long one. From the start I was aiming for a happy ending, so there was no doubt in me that Zero should end up with Kaname in the end. Hope you liked it – thanks for all the reviews and favs…_


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